Category: This; And also that

you: I have to put the cat to sleep.
me: why?
you: he’s leaving the dentist’s poop all over the house.
me: how does he get the dentist’s poop?
you: I give it to him.
she: why?
me: yeah, why?
you: because he’s bored. he needs something to play with.
she: but how do you know it’s the dentist’s poop?
you: I am the dentist.

Am I the only one
freaked out by all
these blind people?
Taking our jobs — ?
our women — ?
our German Sheperds?

A post-apocalyptic romantic comedy.
You know, like, it’s the big first date
and he’s all wigged out
because he doesn’t know if
the girl’s a girl
or if she’s
a flesh-eating zombie.
Starring Mathew Broderick.
And introducing: a flesh-eating zombie.

“This is better than some lollipops I know.”

I’ll be gone for a couple of days, so I thought we’d try something a little differemt this morning — an open thread. The idear is that you folks keep the site crackling in my absence — overflowing with woosh! — by adding your own snippets of dialog, slices of lyric, poems, demi-poems, stories, or rants as comments to this very entry. Whaddya think? Itto? Heroic Imp? Captain Marsupial? other Dan? Folks unknown? Shall we give it a shot?
More than one entry welcome, nay encouraged! No need to be shy, it’s just us chickens. Click comment below and…let ‘er rip.
Enjoy! And watch the skies, -Cecil

Waiting around for
election day
doesn’t count
as an activity.

She has a hard, twisted smile
like she’s just taken poison
and if you say
one more word
well, she’ll let some of it leak.
Her jaw, it will slack
and the venom will bubble
oh there’ll be lots of trouble
when she opens up that beak.

   please don't
call
on me.

                     I'm
writing poetry.

Walking is a kind of dance.
Dancing is the only way to move.
(this from my 6-year-old back when she was a 4-or-5-year-old.)

I walk into the restroom
and there are these two guys in
there and it already stinks
and they look at me like
I did something wrong
and I’m thinking hey —
I just got here and then
one of them leaves and then
the other one leaves
so now I’m all alone for
like two-and-a-half heartbeats
and then some new guy comes in —
some third guy, or fourth, really,
if you count me, and he’s
walking right in, through that same door
and he’s looking at me
like I did something wrong
and I’m thinking damn.
I mean damn. I’m spending
altogether too much time
in this stinky bathroom.