My Blog

Blog

  • Citrus Lad

    He’s walking around
    like he’s just eaten an orange.
    Always.
    This gives him strength.

  • A true story, garbled nigh the point of incoherence

    My stomach doctor, who looks a lot like Elliott Gould — I mean, even more than I do.
    Anyways. He’s someone you don’t want to startle you.
    And he’s also. I mean.
    For reasons I really don’t care to discuss.
    Let’s just say.
    He’s someone you don’t want to picture 15 feet tall.
    Someone I don’t want to picture 15 feet tall.
    Anyways, so I’m driving to work.
    And there he was, by the freeway, as you get on the bridge. 15 feet tall.
    And when I told him I saw him, the next time I saw him, he was so proud.
    That I saw him.
    Just picture Elliott Gould in a white doctor’s coat.
    Proud.

  • Graze

    The horses are grazing over at the World Trade Center.
    Tourists form a wide circle around the field
    translating plaques out loud to each other
    looking down at the grass-covered pit
    before strolling over to the local Fire Department
    where the hay stacks are piled higher than feels safe.
    Squinting through dark glass into the station
    past the truck, past the pole
    they’re looking for a cow they can rope or a lunch bell to ring
    in this unexpected land of big sky.

  • Overheard tonight on NPR

    Guest: Studies have shown that two-thirds of what people buy, they weren’t planning on buying when they walked into the store.
    Host: So you’re saying, if I go into a store to buy a pair of socks, I’m going to walk out with three things I didn’t want?
    And I screamed at the radio: “No! No that’s not what he was saying! You idiot! That would be 3/4s! Or, if you counted each sock individually, 3/5s!”
    And I drove my car into a pole.

  • Cruel (and Wordy) Open Mic Heckle #2

    Please...
write what you know
but also:
        know something interesting.

  • Yaniv’s Cruel Heckle

    They’re telling shapeless stories
    at the open mic
    reading from travel diaries
    picking up where they left off last week
    and Yaniv wants to shout:
    “Get a blog!”

  • The founding fathers

    Never gave thanks.
Never had blogs.
Owned slaves. Some of them owned slaves.
Were shorter than us on average.
    Yes, some of them fought against it
tried to move things
forward
toward
    a blinding
bright world
but
    not all of them.

  • Just a wee fragment of a much larger and more substantive work

    Like “stinky”
    in MadLibs,
    she always delivered.

  • Circus Ghosts

    Most people don’t like ghosts.
    But everybody loves circus ghosts.
    Circus ghosts may not remember
    who they were in the real world or
    what kind of car they drove.
    But they remember their tricks.
    They say: “Watch me juggle. I can eat fire.”
    “oooOOOOOoooo.”
    “I can eat fire.”

  • My people

    We played with sticks for a while, my people
    looking for wood that was strong and flexible,
    turning it into specialized sticks.
    Sticks for scratching
    for digging out hard to reach
    infected patches.
    Then we made the Torah.