I have seen you eat eggs, and it’s a fearsome sight.
\nIf I was an egg, and you looked in the window, I would start to cry. I wouldn’t have any legs, so I’d just rock back and forth, thin tears tracing down the hard shell of my face.
\nNow maybe you’d surprise me and not eat me. Maybe you’d wipe off my shell and make me your pet.
\nBut still, if you ever ate eggs in front of me, with a fork or something, that would gross me out. And I’d be like: “Dude, don’t eat eggs in front of your egg pet.”
\nAnd you’d say: “Don’t worry, I only eat dead eggs.”
\nLike that made it OK.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I have seen you eat eggs, and it’s a fearsome sight. If I was an egg, and you looked in the window, I would start to cry. I wouldn’t have any legs, so I’d just rock back and forth, thin tears tracing down the hard shell of my face. Now maybe you’d surprise me and […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[15],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-300","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-this-and-also-that"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/capellman.com\/cecil1215b\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/300","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/capellman.com\/cecil1215b\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/capellman.com\/cecil1215b\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/capellman.com\/cecil1215b\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/capellman.com\/cecil1215b\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=300"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/capellman.com\/cecil1215b\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/300\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/capellman.com\/cecil1215b\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=300"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/capellman.com\/cecil1215b\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=300"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/capellman.com\/cecil1215b\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=300"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}