The pasta that I had tonight at Pastino’s in Oakland
\nwas the worst pasta I have had in my entire life.
\nI am an old man. I have lived 300 years.
\nIn all my years, I’ve never had pasta this bad.
\nAnd make no mistake — I’ve had bad pasta.
\nFor about 60 years I lived in Bangladesh,
\nI was a reporter at a local newspaper
\nand — I kid you not — my “beat” was bad pasta places
\nand the pasta they made.
\nMost of which wasn’t
\nvery good.
\nIt was a difficult time.
\nAs it turns out, those thin, flappy, granular strands of my discontent
\nwere just the first course in an extended meal
\nat the heavy center of which, I now discover, sat
\ntonight’s fettucini bolognese.
\nI’m about to go to sleep. And all I can think about
\nis the fact that some small part of this pasta will probably become
\nmy toe skin, or a ligament. My hip. A crumbly eyelash.
\nI have been cheapened by this pasta. I do not recommend you go to
\nPastino’s.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
The pasta that I had tonight at Pastino’s in Oakland was the worst pasta I have had in my entire life. I am an old man. I have lived 300 years. In all my years, I’ve never had pasta this bad. And make no mistake — I’ve had bad pasta. For about 60 years I […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[15],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-614","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-this-and-also-that"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/capellman.com\/cecil1215b\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/614","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/capellman.com\/cecil1215b\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/capellman.com\/cecil1215b\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/capellman.com\/cecil1215b\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/capellman.com\/cecil1215b\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=614"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/capellman.com\/cecil1215b\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/614\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/capellman.com\/cecil1215b\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=614"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/capellman.com\/cecil1215b\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=614"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/capellman.com\/cecil1215b\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=614"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}