{"id":673,"date":"2008-02-24T15:06:24","date_gmt":"2008-02-24T15:06:24","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/capellman.com\/cecil1215b\/2008\/02\/24\/mess-with-texas\/"},"modified":"2008-02-24T15:06:24","modified_gmt":"2008-02-24T15:06:24","slug":"mess-with-texas","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/capellman.com\/cecil1215b\/2008\/02\/24\/mess-with-texas\/","title":{"rendered":"Mess with Texas"},"content":{"rendered":"

Some people, like Hillary Clinton and my 7-year-old son, have been hammering home this “Don’t Mess with Texas” message. In the case of Hillary, it’s one of her slogans for the March 4th primary. With my son, it’s on this t-shirt he likes to wear.
\nAnd I’m sorry, but I enjoy messing with Texas. I do. And I don’t care what Hillary or Power Vortex<\/b><\/a> say — I don’t intend to stop.
\nFor example, sometimes I move Texas’ seat a few inches away from where they think it is. Not so much that they fall. But just enough so they go “Whoa!” and they have to readjust themselves. And they’re looking around, thinking, “Who did that? Who’s messing with me?”
\nOr I tell Oklahoma that Texas said something mean about them, when really they didn’t.
\nOr if Texas is shooting pool, I walk up quietly behind them and tug on their pool cue right as they’re lining up their shot. They hate that!
\nGot any ways you like to mess with Tee Ex?
\nUpdate:<\/b> Reader James in the comments gently points out that those McSweeney bastards<\/b><\/A> got to this watering hole first. I guess it’s true what they say about an infinite number of monkeys with an infinite number of typewriters taking it to Texas in similar fashion, where time is expressed as T and “ways Texas can be messed with” is expressed as M or perhaps (M Over Tx).
\nUpdate to update:<\/b> After a little reflection, I’ve decided that this is a sign I should redirect my energies. Instead of “messing with Texas,” I’m now going to “screw with Delaware.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Some people, like Hillary Clinton and my 7-year-old son, have been hammering home this “Don’t Mess with Texas” message. In the case of Hillary, it’s one of her slogans for the March 4th primary. With my son, it’s on this t-shirt he likes to wear. And I’m sorry, but I enjoy messing with Texas. I […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[15],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-673","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-this-and-also-that"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/capellman.com\/cecil1215b\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/673","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/capellman.com\/cecil1215b\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/capellman.com\/cecil1215b\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/capellman.com\/cecil1215b\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/capellman.com\/cecil1215b\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=673"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/capellman.com\/cecil1215b\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/673\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/capellman.com\/cecil1215b\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=673"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/capellman.com\/cecil1215b\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=673"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/capellman.com\/cecil1215b\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=673"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}