{"id":723,"date":"2008-08-05T07:28:24","date_gmt":"2008-08-05T07:28:24","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/capellman.com\/cecil1215b\/2008\/08\/05\/he-jackassed-my-head\/"},"modified":"2008-08-05T07:28:24","modified_gmt":"2008-08-05T07:28:24","slug":"he-jackassed-my-head","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/capellman.com\/cecil1215b\/2008\/08\/05\/he-jackassed-my-head\/","title":{"rendered":"&#8220;He jackassed my head!&#8221;"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>&#8230;is the phase I shouted at Ben Kingsley in my last dream last night. Is the phrase I was shouting in my brain when the alarm woke me up this morning.<br \/>\nYou don&#8217;t understand, Ben Kingsley. I didn&#8217;t even know that  jerk. I was lying on the grass, OK?. He ran by, playing soccer, and the son of a bitch jackassed my head with his cleats. Alright, so he gave me this pack of exotic tobacco as court-ordered reparations for the assault. I understand how that looks. It looks like I know him. But I don&#8217;t know him, OK? I don&#8217;t know him, I don&#8217;t like him. And I&#8217;m certainly not a spy. So stop making complicated plots designed to put me away.<br \/>\nHe jackassed my damn head!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&#8230;is the phase I shouted at Ben Kingsley in my last dream last night. Is the phrase I was shouting in my brain when the alarm woke me up this morning. You don&#8217;t understand, Ben Kingsley. I didn&#8217;t even know that jerk. I was lying on the grass, OK?. He ran by, playing soccer, and [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[15],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-723","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-this-and-also-that"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/capellman.com\/cecil1215b\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/723","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/capellman.com\/cecil1215b\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/capellman.com\/cecil1215b\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/capellman.com\/cecil1215b\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/capellman.com\/cecil1215b\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=723"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/capellman.com\/cecil1215b\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/723\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/capellman.com\/cecil1215b\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=723"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/capellman.com\/cecil1215b\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=723"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/capellman.com\/cecil1215b\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=723"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}