People say that Sarah Palin was the mayor of a 9,000-person Alaskan town until just a few years ago, and that’s true. But they’re forgetting that Alaskans are like 40 feet tall and covered with hair and they have 20 arms and so really, that’s the equivalent of, um, 171,000 normal people.
\nAnd people say that John McCain has only met her twice, even though he had all this time to pick his VP, and what’s up with that? But they’re forgetting that John McCain died 90 years ago in a shipwreck off the coast of Virginia and was found wandering the Arizona desert some 60 years later, and ever since then, he’s had a set of mystic powers including some that are brain powers and, like, ESP and whatnot.
\nAnd people say that this is a wildly political move designed to pander to a couple of pieces of the electorate that otherwise wouldn’t fry an egg on John McCain’s hiney at a tanning salon. But those people are weird and that’s kind of a gross image. I mean, come on — yuck.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
People say that Sarah Palin was the mayor of a 9,000-person Alaskan town until just a few years ago, and that’s true. But they’re forgetting that Alaskans are like 40 feet tall and covered with hair and they have 20 arms and so really, that’s the equivalent of, um, 171,000 normal people. And people say […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-736","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-extreme-punditry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/capellman.com\/cecil1215b\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/736","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/capellman.com\/cecil1215b\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/capellman.com\/cecil1215b\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/capellman.com\/cecil1215b\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/capellman.com\/cecil1215b\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=736"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/capellman.com\/cecil1215b\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/736\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/capellman.com\/cecil1215b\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=736"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/capellman.com\/cecil1215b\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=736"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/capellman.com\/cecil1215b\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=736"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}