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To Do Lists of the Dead

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I’m borderline religious about To Do Lists. For example, when I go to bed, I often remind myself that while it’s easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than it is for a rich man to get into heaven, it’s easier for a rich man to get into heaven than it is for most individuals to complete three projects with overlapping deadlines on time, unless they have a To Do List to help them prioritize.
So I got to thinking about To Do Lists, and religions, and how some Mormons used to baptize people after they’d passed on. And I thought I could perform a similar service by creating To Do Lists for the dead.
Here’s what I have so far:
Richard Burton

  • Use EVP to star as lovable robot king in upcoming Pixar film.
  • Possess body of small dog and make it sing songs from Camelot.
  • Stop haunting Elizabeth Taylor’s underwear.

Richard Nixon

  • Get Facebook account.
  • Fill Teddy Kennedy’s shoes with ectoplasm.
  • Stop haunting Henry Kissinger’s underwear.

Got any you’d like to add?
update: a pal just pointed out that Dr. Katz had the exact same idea 7 years ago. Dang you Dr. Katz! Why are you always 7 years ahead of me with everything?!

Comments

6 responses to “To Do Lists of the Dead”

  1. xifer Avatar
    xifer

    Sigmund Freud
    -Supervise Dr. Melfi on more effective methods of ending therapy relationships
    -Leave joke about archetypes on Jung’s MySpace page
    -Stop haunting Dr. Phil’s underwear

    Reply
  2. So-Called Bill Avatar
    So-Called Bill

    What I’d really like to see is “To-Do Lists of the Damned.”

    Reply
  3. Cecil Vortex Avatar
    Cecil Vortex

    Veronica Vortex (aka my better half) was talking about doing one for Ken Lay. We figured to do #1 was “get Satan to stop calling me “‘Kenny boy’.”
    -Cecil

    Reply
  4. xifer Avatar
    xifer

    Or better yet-how about Lee Atwater who started it all…

    Reply
  5. so-called Sara Avatar
    so-called Sara

    Janice Joplin
    -Posess Madonna’s body and sing a song by Nick Gravenites
    -Give Brittney Spears a spirited talk-to
    -Stop haunting Tom Waits’ underwear

    Reply
  6. xian Avatar
    xian

    You don’t believe Ken Lay really died just before going to prison do you? Step 1: Find a hobo of approximately Ken’s height and build. Step 2: Verify the Swiss accts. are up to date. Step 3: Arrange for transportation to Paraguay in cash. I leave the rest to the class as an exercise.

    Reply

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